9/1
Messed around all day and forgot to call Doll for her bday. Actually I did call but got a busy signal at the time. After I got into my routine I remembered but it was much too late. I should have called her at six this morning when I thought it was too early. See how things work out.
Feeling much better lately so I hope the trend continues. When my bday roll along in a few days I wanna be well.
9/2
Spent bout an hour and a half waiting for a bus that didn't show up. I understand it was a holiday (Labor Day) but come on man! You would have thought the bus only ran in one direction because at least (in that same time frame) three buses went by on the other side.
I guess in the end I learned patience cause that bus still ain't showed up yet and I done everything I started out to do that day.
9/3
I don't know if I said this somewhere else before, but I give up on B.L. I tried, I tried in every way I could to have a harmonious relationship, just for the sake of the kid's heads, really, but it didn't work. So fuckit! Que sera, sera. Life is too valuable to waste on pure bullshit, to short to be fuckin around with ignorant people. I wasted enough time already. If only I knew.
Well all things in their time and guess what? I know now.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Thursday, June 30, 2016
8/30
I'm not in the mood for love anymore. Not like before anyway. I just need a partner to share some special moments with, if you know what I mean. I just don't have the fortitude or the patience, or especially the time. I'm also just not in the mood for love anymore. Not like before anyway.
8/31
Turning over that new leaf I been turning over for years now. Now is the time. I have so much to look forward to: My first grand child; I just found out too, that my first born son is getting married next May. I hope by then I have some arm candy, but now that I think about it, even if that is the case, it wouldn't be a good idea to show them off. I'm not trying to make anybody uncomfortable. I just wanna do my thing and get my groove on for a while, cause I feel it in my bones that I still got plenty of those type days left in me.
I'm not in the mood for love anymore. Not like before anyway. I just need a partner to share some special moments with, if you know what I mean. I just don't have the fortitude or the patience, or especially the time. I'm also just not in the mood for love anymore. Not like before anyway.
8/31
Turning over that new leaf I been turning over for years now. Now is the time. I have so much to look forward to: My first grand child; I just found out too, that my first born son is getting married next May. I hope by then I have some arm candy, but now that I think about it, even if that is the case, it wouldn't be a good idea to show them off. I'm not trying to make anybody uncomfortable. I just wanna do my thing and get my groove on for a while, cause I feel it in my bones that I still got plenty of those type days left in me.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
8/27
C.G. was the very first of the PYTs of my adult life. Although we were only 6 years apart when I met her, she was only 15. I was amazed at her maturity. She was a Sagittarius who was well ahead of her time. We shared a lot of feelings but no romance. Years later when she became of age, we thought about it, but her care for other people's feelings would not allow her.
8/28
I spent a lot of time with Sweet T, the Lady Libra. She was 20 years my junior, but age was truly only a number. We shared many precious moments together, through ups and very downs, including her being homeless for a period of time. While I knew her she lived in at least 3 different places, which we christened them all. Although we were severely romantic, she already had 2 children, and at one time was pregnant with her third child. No, it was not mine.
8/29
From somewhere, I got a severe cold and cough. I been suffering for a few days now and it has affected my everything. My pressure is erratic, to say the least and I'm at a loss as to how to medicate myself; with hypertension you can't just take anything. Needless to say I'm suffering right now.
C.G. was the very first of the PYTs of my adult life. Although we were only 6 years apart when I met her, she was only 15. I was amazed at her maturity. She was a Sagittarius who was well ahead of her time. We shared a lot of feelings but no romance. Years later when she became of age, we thought about it, but her care for other people's feelings would not allow her.
8/28
I spent a lot of time with Sweet T, the Lady Libra. She was 20 years my junior, but age was truly only a number. We shared many precious moments together, through ups and very downs, including her being homeless for a period of time. While I knew her she lived in at least 3 different places, which we christened them all. Although we were severely romantic, she already had 2 children, and at one time was pregnant with her third child. No, it was not mine.
8/29
From somewhere, I got a severe cold and cough. I been suffering for a few days now and it has affected my everything. My pressure is erratic, to say the least and I'm at a loss as to how to medicate myself; with hypertension you can't just take anything. Needless to say I'm suffering right now.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
8/24
My Mother passed away around this date about 3 years ago. If I must say so myself, I represented her well at her memorial services. She would have been proud of me. My task now is to preserve her legacy by having a headstone pit on her grave. I will better be able to handle that on the financial level when I get the settlement in a short while, actually I'm expecting to hear from the lawyer any day soon. It's poetic justice that the settlement comes as a result of an accident she was involved in that eventually cost her her life.
8/25
Dark and sleek was RD, a really sweet, young chocolate thing that completely took me by surprise. From the first, she knew what she wanted, why, and for how long. This sexy Capricorn controlled our relationship from day 1. We were intensely romantic for that whole summer of our affair. Affair because she was engaged to be married soon and I was apparently her last tango in Paris. She was true to her word and once the summer ended, so did our relationship.
8/26
LW was so young and so sweet but there was no way for us to have anything. She was an open-minded Taurus who just was testing the waters of romance. She had me mesmerized and I thought she saw me as a way of doing the right thing for her Mother, who was one of my tenants. It went well, but not long. We never advanced to the romantic level, but I ran into her a few years later and she had recently became a mew Mom.
My Mother passed away around this date about 3 years ago. If I must say so myself, I represented her well at her memorial services. She would have been proud of me. My task now is to preserve her legacy by having a headstone pit on her grave. I will better be able to handle that on the financial level when I get the settlement in a short while, actually I'm expecting to hear from the lawyer any day soon. It's poetic justice that the settlement comes as a result of an accident she was involved in that eventually cost her her life.
8/25
Dark and sleek was RD, a really sweet, young chocolate thing that completely took me by surprise. From the first, she knew what she wanted, why, and for how long. This sexy Capricorn controlled our relationship from day 1. We were intensely romantic for that whole summer of our affair. Affair because she was engaged to be married soon and I was apparently her last tango in Paris. She was true to her word and once the summer ended, so did our relationship.
8/26
LW was so young and so sweet but there was no way for us to have anything. She was an open-minded Taurus who just was testing the waters of romance. She had me mesmerized and I thought she saw me as a way of doing the right thing for her Mother, who was one of my tenants. It went well, but not long. We never advanced to the romantic level, but I ran into her a few years later and she had recently became a mew Mom.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
8/21
About a week behind in my Summer Writing Binge. Don't know what got me off track because I was good for making an entry every night. Now I'm behind but I intend to get back on track. Been thinking a lot lately about the women, and even girls from my past. I really can't complain because true to my horoscope, which a lot of people don't believe in, women have a special affinity towards me and I for them. It has always been that way.
8/22
Light skin and fine as hell was T.B., the Gemini. She just wanted to do something different in her life. I think it broke the mundaneness of her existence in the projects. She was a welfare mom so she relied on me to supply her with some additional income. We were romantic, but only to the extent that she knew I wanted her like that. To her it was just a way to get what she needed.
8/23
M.A.R. aka Toni aka Her Majesty the Queen was another of those light skin and fine women in my life. When I first met her in the copy room at 250 Broadway, I was blown away. I never thought in my wildest dreams we had anything in common. She was a sweet and gentle Taurus. Too sweet and generous perhaps, because when I discovered her she had just had a baby, her 3rd, several months before. We were romantic because she needed love. At the same time she was also on the rebound from a man who no longer loved her. T was the finest woman, in my mind, at 250 Broadway, true arm candy and I wore her well.
About a week behind in my Summer Writing Binge. Don't know what got me off track because I was good for making an entry every night. Now I'm behind but I intend to get back on track. Been thinking a lot lately about the women, and even girls from my past. I really can't complain because true to my horoscope, which a lot of people don't believe in, women have a special affinity towards me and I for them. It has always been that way.
8/22
Light skin and fine as hell was T.B., the Gemini. She just wanted to do something different in her life. I think it broke the mundaneness of her existence in the projects. She was a welfare mom so she relied on me to supply her with some additional income. We were romantic, but only to the extent that she knew I wanted her like that. To her it was just a way to get what she needed.
8/23
M.A.R. aka Toni aka Her Majesty the Queen was another of those light skin and fine women in my life. When I first met her in the copy room at 250 Broadway, I was blown away. I never thought in my wildest dreams we had anything in common. She was a sweet and gentle Taurus. Too sweet and generous perhaps, because when I discovered her she had just had a baby, her 3rd, several months before. We were romantic because she needed love. At the same time she was also on the rebound from a man who no longer loved her. T was the finest woman, in my mind, at 250 Broadway, true arm candy and I wore her well.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
8/16
Woke up this morning and decided that it was over. I didn't go through my regular routine of taking those blood pressure pills. I didn't plan to stop today because I still have 11 pills to go, it just happened like that. I had to let go and let God, as they say. I just couldn't see myself going any further with that deal. I will not be depending on medication. So I just stopped. I know what to do, it's just scary thinking about how close I was to having my life drastically and even tragically changed forever.
8/17
Scary feeling wondering what was gonna happen. Nothing did yet, except I'm starting to feel more like my ex-hypertension attack. The grogginess is still there although not as severe as it was back in July. I can manage this level of grogginess. I just want to get back to my real self, that self that experienced a clear head at all times. I feel better already and I look forward to the day when I can get back on the road and run. But not yet I'm still to out of it at times. Too, too groggy__
8/18
So far so good. My pressure is not so bad. If I change my diet and monitor my pressure every day I should be able to do it. I'm giving it my best shot. There is too much left in this world to do. I especially want to meet my grand-baby-on-the-way and witness her growth.
8/19
Getting back to my old self one day at a time. I should be back on the road soon. My scripture daily reading, prayer and meditation will pull me through this.
I'm about to be the silent one in a while. Yeah, I miss certain things but I love my independence better.I am finally that Alpha Wolf dancing to my own beat. I could never go back now. But since they say never say never let's just say I'm A-ok.
8/20
Made sure I registered early for A. Wilson's workshop on memoir writing. I just want to see the lady again and see how I feel now. I was impressed in June but now this encounter will be up close from a different angle. I will have to do my homework because ain't no telling where this thing will go if I play my cards right. No I'm not talking like that but I would not refuse an invitation. It would have to be a very special exclusive invitation. Meanwhile I'm excited because it keeps me busy writing.
Woke up this morning and decided that it was over. I didn't go through my regular routine of taking those blood pressure pills. I didn't plan to stop today because I still have 11 pills to go, it just happened like that. I had to let go and let God, as they say. I just couldn't see myself going any further with that deal. I will not be depending on medication. So I just stopped. I know what to do, it's just scary thinking about how close I was to having my life drastically and even tragically changed forever.
8/17
Scary feeling wondering what was gonna happen. Nothing did yet, except I'm starting to feel more like my ex-hypertension attack. The grogginess is still there although not as severe as it was back in July. I can manage this level of grogginess. I just want to get back to my real self, that self that experienced a clear head at all times. I feel better already and I look forward to the day when I can get back on the road and run. But not yet I'm still to out of it at times. Too, too groggy__
8/18
So far so good. My pressure is not so bad. If I change my diet and monitor my pressure every day I should be able to do it. I'm giving it my best shot. There is too much left in this world to do. I especially want to meet my grand-baby-on-the-way and witness her growth.
Getting back to my old self one day at a time. I should be back on the road soon. My scripture daily reading, prayer and meditation will pull me through this.
I'm about to be the silent one in a while. Yeah, I miss certain things but I love my independence better.I am finally that Alpha Wolf dancing to my own beat. I could never go back now. But since they say never say never let's just say I'm A-ok.
8/20
Made sure I registered early for A. Wilson's workshop on memoir writing. I just want to see the lady again and see how I feel now. I was impressed in June but now this encounter will be up close from a different angle. I will have to do my homework because ain't no telling where this thing will go if I play my cards right. No I'm not talking like that but I would not refuse an invitation. It would have to be a very special exclusive invitation. Meanwhile I'm excited because it keeps me busy writing.
Monday, February 29, 2016
7/26
I'm obviously angry. Angry about a lot of things but not as many things as it seems. People must take my kindness for weakness. I'm their scapegoat, their doormat, whatever. Why am I treated this way? I've only tried to do good by those close to me but I guess it's not appreciated. But guess what? That's all about to change. Tomorrow I will be a different guy. No more Mr. Nice Guy? I'm not gonna change who I am because I will always be me. But now I'm stopping the buck before the buck stops me.
7/28
Of course it's me but I seem to be on edge lately. Everything almost starts to agitate me. Not that I'm rambling and ranting as my children seem to think, but getting certain things off my chest, as I like to think. I don't want unsaid things to be the source of stress. So whereas in the past I might deal with it internally, now I'm gettin it out of my system. I don't know if its good or bad I just feel like letting my feelings be known. I'm just tired whatever it is I'm tired of. Or maybe its as my daughter said I'm going thru mid-life crisis. Maybe she has a point. I will have to look into that fact.
7/30
Crossroads time at my website BPC. Time to come up with a good chronological history segment that will last for a while and prove to be interactive with my visitors and send them flipping pages madly. By tomorrow or before the 3lst I will come up with something. I'm still figuring how to level my blood pressure so I'm feeling healthy again. I know for one I bout to change my diet, not drastically, but moderately just like they, the medicine givers are trying to change my B/P to a moderate reading.
7/31
Not sure where a lot of my day went doing chores around the house mingling with the girls gonna finish that poem about you know who haven't felt this good as I do right now for a minute almost like I'm back to my normal self but what could that mean I don't know for sure because my b/p has been sky high for so long how would I know anyway but I had the lowest reading ever lately and thats scary because if thats the medicine will I be able to do as well without it I wonder.
I'm obviously angry. Angry about a lot of things but not as many things as it seems. People must take my kindness for weakness. I'm their scapegoat, their doormat, whatever. Why am I treated this way? I've only tried to do good by those close to me but I guess it's not appreciated. But guess what? That's all about to change. Tomorrow I will be a different guy. No more Mr. Nice Guy? I'm not gonna change who I am because I will always be me. But now I'm stopping the buck before the buck stops me.
7/28
Of course it's me but I seem to be on edge lately. Everything almost starts to agitate me. Not that I'm rambling and ranting as my children seem to think, but getting certain things off my chest, as I like to think. I don't want unsaid things to be the source of stress. So whereas in the past I might deal with it internally, now I'm gettin it out of my system. I don't know if its good or bad I just feel like letting my feelings be known. I'm just tired whatever it is I'm tired of. Or maybe its as my daughter said I'm going thru mid-life crisis. Maybe she has a point. I will have to look into that fact.
7/30
Crossroads time at my website BPC. Time to come up with a good chronological history segment that will last for a while and prove to be interactive with my visitors and send them flipping pages madly. By tomorrow or before the 3lst I will come up with something. I'm still figuring how to level my blood pressure so I'm feeling healthy again. I know for one I bout to change my diet, not drastically, but moderately just like they, the medicine givers are trying to change my B/P to a moderate reading.
7/31
Not sure where a lot of my day went doing chores around the house mingling with the girls gonna finish that poem about you know who haven't felt this good as I do right now for a minute almost like I'm back to my normal self but what could that mean I don't know for sure because my b/p has been sky high for so long how would I know anyway but I had the lowest reading ever lately and thats scary because if thats the medicine will I be able to do as well without it I wonder.
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