To be FULLY ALIVE right NOW i...

...need to have everything running smooth and even. I need to be following a schedule that is working. This means that what I should be doing at 8 or 9 or whatever time it is, I should be doing that. That's what makes me fully alive. Granted the timing will be slightly off by a few minutes give or take, but the event should be taking place as planned. This is the way it should be happening every day.

NOW I... back THEN I...

...can see clearly where the things I were doing were selfish and irresponsible. I had a good thing going, and my life was headed on a smooth course of love, trust and understanding between me and my girl...



...couldn't see the forest for the trees. My nature of the beast took control and my only concern was how much pussy I could get. I made every excuse in the book to justify my pursuit of carnal desires and satisfaction, and it cost me dearly.

A WEEK FROM NOW I WANT...

to be closer to my goals I've set for 2015. One day at a time I'm taking the steps I need to get there. It seems like slow going because it really is hour by hour, but I still have to be diligent in my pursuit. As always I must keep my nose to the grindstone. It is so easy to get side-tracked because there are so many other things going on that are competing for attention. But at the end of the day I want to have forged ahead to the next step.

I LIMIT MYSELF WHEN...

I consciously stay away from the women I encounter. I have always been a man given to excesses when it came to women, but I limit myself to none. While I have been here in Ohio my aggressive nature has been under wraps. I realize that it would be defeating my purpose if I was to bring a woman into the picture surrounding my already mentally injured daughters. For that reason alone I have taken it upon myself to draw a line to maintain our family sanity.

when i close my eyes i hear...

..."my train a-coming." Like Jimi Hendrix said. Not in the same light, however, for Jimi was foreseeing something tragic to happen because of the lifestyle of drugs and living- on- the- edge type of life he lead. But I hear my train a-coming because I'm getting older now. I will be 65 on my next birthday, so my mortality becomes more of an issue with each passing day. All I can do now is live life to the fullest and get on board at the station. NEXT STOP!

MY FAVORITE SCENT IS...WHY?

My favorite scent is baby powder, especially the body oil. I love that smell of a newborn baby whose skin is just oozing with the smell of Johnson's Baby Oil. The one I use is what I buy from street vendors who deal in selling various scents of body oils. Since the birth of my first born that smell has meant the scent of new life. That smell was so special to me, particularly after the devastating loss of my very first seed. It revitalized me and helped me to accept life's fate.

The most beautiful sound in the world...

...is the sound of my heart beat as it resounds throughout my entire being. The heart is the principle thing; our life force. When it stops beating our life ceases as well. When I feel that pounding in my chest, I know that the spirit of the Most High is still within my soul. I am thankful that I have been blessed in my life thus far; the Most High has brought me a mighty long way.

the most meaningful gift i ever received...

was the gift of life. Not only my life, but the life of every one of my children and now my first grandchild. Life is a blessing from the Most High. Your children and their children and so on and on becomes an extention of your own life. My seed takes me into the next generation and makes my name special in this world. But life is short. It only lasts for a moment. So since I got this gift which I never asked for I'm gonna live it to the fullest.

  

LETTER OF COMFORT

Write a LETTER OF COMFORT to the child you once were who endured hardship or suffering.
=====================================================================

Dear Bobby;

Be not dismayed or discouraged because your mother is away from you at this time. She is in New York, yes but she is there trying to prepare a place for you and your sister to come there, to meet her soon where you will have a home of your own. She has not abandoned you and I promise that she will send for you very soon where all of you will be together as one big happy family.

HOW CAN I BE CONTENT WITH WHERE I AM?

So far I have been sticking to my guns. I'm content to be a writer/blogger. My writing projects are coming along well. I am slowly but surely headed towards

my goal of publication. By the close of this year I will have, if I stick to my plan, published my first chapbook. I have learned over the years not to ask for anything. I am full content with what comes my way. As long as that is my attitude, and it has been for years now, I will have the best come to me.

What am I when I am empty?

I am a lost soul. I need to be filled with love and satisfaction. These two elements keep me alive and well. When I am alive everything runs smooth and seamless in all aspects of my daily living. Any set back is of a minor state of existence. I take time to evaluate it and decide what can or cannot be done. Once this is determined I do what has to be done. Life is the ultimate pleasure and it is so much better with someone to love.

----------doesn't bother me because...

LYING doesn't bother me because the responsibility belongs to the liar. A recent conversation I had with a certain person about certain personal matters regarding my relocation to this State of Ohio has revealed that I came here for my own personal reasons, because I needed a quick change of scenery, when I thought the reason was something else that had more to do with THEM than with ME, so either I misunderstood or somebody's lying.

I FEEL SAFE WHEN ...

my feet are planted firmly on the ground. I've flown by airplane once in my life and that was enough. It was a routine flight, as most of them are, but I prefer to travel long distance by Greyhound bus. Over the past few years I've even grown uncomfortable riding in cars too. I just don't feel safe in them, mainly because most drivers are unattentive. I cringe when I'm riding on the freeway especially. When I'm walking, I feel safest of all.

I DON'T LIKE ANYONE TELLING ME THAT I CAN'T...

be a successful writer. It just so happens that we all have a different concept of what "successful" means. For some people it means publication by a well-known publisher who has signed me to a book deal for several books and has given me a fat signing bonus up front that makes me a rich man. Yeah must be nice! Anyway...

The moment when I feel successful is when I get my book(s) and stories , and poems published by my own company. Shout out to KEY-IN MEDIA PRODUCTIONS. Soon to be a bonafide SUCCESS!

I AM COURAGEOUS WHEN...

the odds are tacked against me, I am courageous. I come out strong and confident that I have the ability to come out on top, or at least hold my own.

I AM COURAGEOUS because

my children are my pride and my joy. They are the pack that I run with! Although most of them are now grown they are still the crowning glory of my life. From the oldest to the youngest I will do whatever it is I can to protect them from harm, hurt, evil or danger, and when I cannot be there physically, they will be in my prayers. Keep The Pack Safe!

WHATS MISSING IN MY LIFE IS...

...To be perfectly honest, not that I wouldn't be, but what I need or whats missing in my life is a soul-mate. That is someone who shares the same attitudes and feelings that I have about life.
That is a woman who believes in the Most High. I expect that if I have that type of woman, everything else will fall into place. She doesn't have to share the same loves that I have, e.g. a passion for reading, writing, etc, but she must love me like a woman loves her man and trust in him, and look to him for leadership and counsel. She has to be independent, young and lovely, and loves to love me and be loved by me in return. That's whats missing in my life. But to put it all in one word: POLARITY!

LONEWOLF'S CAFE (A WRITERS RETREAT)

IMAGINE A PUB LOCATED

SOMEWHERE IN A QUAINT PART OF BROOKLYN

FOR WRITERS ONLY!

RUN WITH THE PACK!