life is STRANGE

7/11 -Lois had a baby some 35 years ago today. Made me a real man it seems for the first time in my life. Hard to explain that feeling except to say WOW! Now in a few months, if God spares my life  like I been praying every day all my life, I may

become a Grand-PA, or is it Grand-DAD. I like Grand-Pa, has a special tone all it's own. Just the same I been blessed. I know my sis had her grand baby before she passed, and my other sis has more than a few, and my mother and father, themselves had very much more than a few, and now here I come, the last of the brood trying to come in , with my first. Life is strange, and people out here trying to act like they know something about it. Really?


7/12 - Have to keep myself from thinking ill things about people, thinking how they gon get theirs one day, wanting to be a witness, wanting them to have to come reeling back to me. That's my mother in me. I really just hope they go on in their life without incident. Just leave me the hell alone. I just wanna live me a quality life and get all the good I can from it because of the good I've done. Yet sometime I get so caught-up I just wanna take matters in my own hand. Ooooh! You don't know. I just pray on it and try to keep myself positive. I do not wish anybody ill will.

my very FIRST BLOOD pressure issue - The Middle

7/15


Trying hard to shake the dizziness, the grogginess that has been a fog over my life these past several days. Not knowing what's going on with myself is scary. You think everything, you think the worse, you fear everything. If I can only escape the fog I'm in I will get myself together and get to a health screening where I can find out what's going on and monitor my health, myself, my way from here on in. I planned a trip to run a race in late August, but I may have to postpone it, in favor of another trip for a health screening to help me figure out what's happening to me. I'm really scared right now.

7/27

Spent most of the day in the ER (emergency room). Blood pressure shot to the sky. Dangerous, very dangerous level. Started out with a dream/hallucination//premonition the night before about 3am when I saw a dark woman figure, clothed in a robe who kind of warned me what was in store for the rest of the day. I was scheduled to attend an health expo to check my vitals, but made it no further than the B/P checkpoint. So high (265/132) they called in paramedics who immediately began to work to lower my pressure. At the ER they checked out my vitals and everything else was fine. Now I got meds for hypertension. Realize that it's now or never to get that pressure under control.

7/29

B/P is down to a level that's much lower than it has been in years. I'm bout to do the right thing and feel better.

8/1

Not trying to be on no B/P medication the rest of my life. After these 30 days I'm bout to have my plan in effect to stay out the danger zone. Left without my strength and energy and power and resolve. Got this cough from nowhere that's pretty damn annoying. My thing is I hope it won't be too big of a problem for me when I decide to do it my way. For real this time. I will keep one eye on my pressure and the other on my diet.



8/3

Biggest thing for me has been my health. I don't like feeling like this so I will wait and see what September will bring after I'm done with these meds, hopefully I won't need to take them again.

THE END  of my very first blood pressure ISSUE

my very first blood pressure issue - The BEGINNING

7/6/13 - SATURDAY

     Ominous clouds dominated the sky this afternoon. They were huge forms of light and dark fluffs of cotton-balls, looking 3D, hovering over Main Street like giant alien space crafts from "Independence Day," 15 miles wide. At one point there, it appeared like a huge being was controlling the vehicle. It looked at me like the world was about to end.

7/7- SUNDAY

           A mental fog has taken over my mind today, some time this afternoon, I don't know exactly when. I woke up from an afternoon nap some place foreign to me. My equilibrium was slightly off. My steps wobbly. I was able to go about my normal duties, but not all there. I was alert and aware of everything around me but my mind operated out of a fog that kept me reeling and seemingly off balance.

7/8-MONDAY

     I woke up this morning still possessed. Not as wobbly as the day before, but enough to keep me off my norm. Physically there are no issues. There are no pains and aches. I have a fever blister on my bottom lip, actually just beneath my left lip, but not unusual from any ones that I've had before in my life. I've felt the stinging pain of it's emergence for a few days now, but not nothing unusual, except this fog in my mind that has kept me operating in a veil of uncertainty.


7/9- TUESDAY

     Still possessed, but to a lesser degree, maybe, I don't know yet. Had a real outburst today like I never, ever had in my life. Left me crying like a baby, exhausted like a mother fucker, but still mad.

7/10- WEDNESDAY

     Never felt this way in my life before. Coming off of a few days (since Sunday) of extreme light-headedness like I've never experienced before. Couldn't really tell what it all stems from, scared to speculate. Just know that in time, got to get my butt to the Dr.'s office and find out what's making me tick. Been feeling pretty good over the past few years, for the most part, through trying to eat right and exercise. Must find out more though, that way I can monitor some of those things old people (like me) suppose to deal with.

flat out in love

     You nothing but a dick teaser. I keep forgetting you not a pleasure seeker. You just want someone to want you. Desire you. You flashed your ass and tits to me on a daily but was always coming up with reasons why I couldn't get none even when we was naked in the bed together. I keep forgetting you afraid of some one really laying the hammer down on you like I would cause you know you would fall flat in love with me. You afraid to be loved and in love with a real man.

what is the 4th of JULY

7/4/13

   Half the people celebrating 4th of July don't even know the 5 W's. Most are oblivious to the facts. It's all about carnivals ,cookouts and fireworks. And I'm sure that's okay in it's own right BUT at some point and time shouldn't the question arise as to what does this all refer to? I'm just saying though. Because a lot of us live our lives like cows going to the slaughter; we just following the person in front of us without realizing where we going until...

no justice, NO PEACE

     You would think by now after all these years there would be justice for a Black man in America. The Zimmerman trial proves that a Black man can't seem to be treated right even when he's innocent. It's pretty clear obviously that Zimmerman stalked, provoked, and eventually murdered Trayvon Martin. And sure Zimmerman is entitled to a fair trial, but come on now, if the situation was reversed, you know a Blackman would've been tried and convicted by now.